Pleased to be wrong

There are times when I'm pleased to be wrong. I've been one of the Olympic-skeptics. I still think we can't afford it and for some reason I can't even explain to myself I'm only vaguely interested in the sports themselves, unlike previous Olympics that I've followed closely, probably just a personal phase. However, I was really worried that we were going to make fools of ourselves over the Opening Ceremony.

I'd actually paid attention to the reports in the papers, on television and word of mouth! When will I ever learn? An idyllic 'green and pleasant land' including fluffy clouds and rain? A layout of fields with idyllic scenes? What were they thinking of? Hah, what was I thinking of? I actually made up my mind before I'd even seen it!

Having seen it, I loved it, perhaps all the more for having expected the worst. Yes, it was chaotic, sometimes confusing, occasionally irritating but then so are we. It was also funny, sometimes moving, always entertaining. When we Olympic-skeptics discussed it between us before the event we were disgusted to think we would be presenting a sugar-sweet, self-absorbed version of the UK to the world. We believed we should not be presenting ourselves at all, that we should be showcasing the ideals of the Olympics. We needn't have worried.

Yes, it was about us but it was us not taking ourselves seriously. The ideals of the Olympics were upheld. I loved the symbolism of the 'petals' coming together to make up the cauldron as the various countries were coming together to compete. I hear there was some dissent abroad about the handing off of the lighting of the cauldron to young athletes. I thought that was great, celebrating the established sporting heroes yet showing it's not just about individuals' achievements but about sporting continuity and the future.

But the thing I enjoyed most? The thing I thought was so great about this ceremony? It was that it was fun and allowed the competitors to relax and enjoy the experience. Did you notice their faces? The absolute joy, the excitement, the sheer pride in representing their countries.

Little beasts!

As a family we're very fond of runner beans so I grow them and I try to be organic about it.

Sadly, blackfly are very fond of runner beans too so I've planted marigolds round the beans this year because blackfly don't like the smell of marigolds. Sadly, those voracious little beasts, slugs, are very fond of marigolds and they've stripped the marigolds back to a central stalk.

So I've been looking up an organic solution. The best one seems to be to surround susceptible plants with chives because slugs don't like the smell of chives.

So, I plant a barrier of chives to protect the marigolds, within that I plant a barrier of marigolds to protect the beans, within that I plant ...er... the one bean plant I've still got room for!

Hmm...

The party's over

It's over. It's been a hectic and exhausting four days. Lots of work and oh so worth it. I'm incredibly proud to be British but this little Brit needs her sleep ready for work tomorrow. I'm going to forget the snarky remarks from the the anti-Royalist party-poopers I've just read online and get my head down.

The Great British motto: Always Have a Plan B

Yesterday our family joined in the nation's Diamond Jubilee celebrations with a little do of our own with a few friends. It was more sedate than past celebrations.

I celebrated the Silver Jubilee as a teenager working in London. I remember walking along Knightsbridge arm in arm with some friends, singing. In my tone-deafedness there's a part of Streets of London that leads naturally, for me, into the 23rd Psalm and such was my enthusiasm I took the others along with me. We'd started out in a couple of local pubs and were heading back to the bank we were working in for some serious partying.

For the Golden Jubilee our family hosted a formal meal. I decorated the house in red, white and blue, we dressed up in red, white and blue and I cooked a sit down meal for eight of coronation chicken starter followed by crown roast of lamb and ending with cherries jubilee.

For the Diamond Jubilee we aimed for something more informal and relaxed, a barbecue! No-one can say we're not optimists but we had a plan B. If it was dry we'd barbecue the meat and serve it with salad outside. If it was wet we'd grill it and serve it with salad inside. I've spent hours in the garden over the past few weeks getting it looking good for just this occasion so I was keeping everything crossed for fine weather to eat outside.

Come the day it was pouring all morning but it dried up by midday and although it was too cold to sit out we had hopes of barbecued meat. The barbecue was lit, with some difficulty, the meat cooking away nicely and then...OF COURSE, it started to rain. Gently at first, ok...then the heavens opened and we participated in another great British tradition...barbecuing under an umbrella! My brother manned the barbecue, brolly in hand, and I dashed between him and the kitchen transferring the meat to a warming pan in the oven as it finished cooking. It was a hoot! It gave us all a good laugh and didn't detract one iota from the fun we all had.

I'd had the foresight to put all the decorations up indoors, just in case, so we were surrounded by red, white and blue bunting, spinners and a wealth of balloons. Not to mention the Union Jack flying outside the house, another pinned over the fireplace and Union Jack tablecloth, plates, napkins and cups on the table. Totally and completely over the top and no doubts whatsoever as to what WE were celebrating!

It was great, we watched the Thames Pageant on television, laughed over our barbecue and the vagaries of our weather, enjoyed our meal and toasted our Queen.

HM Queen Elizabeth II

So, here we are, the Jubilee weekend. There's been a lot of royalty-bashing over the years but I'm not alone in finding comfort in the continuity our royal family brings to our lives. Presidents come and go, politicians are power-hungry, self-interested...oops, sorry, getting sidetracked. Anyway, the fact is I like them, well, most of them, no family's perfect.

Considering there are only a few of them and millions of the rest of us it's rather surprising that my family has seen or had contact with four of them, even if the contact was only second hand. Or maybe not, considering how much work they do.

When I was in my 20's, working in London, I was about to cross the road when the lights changed from red. As I paused there on the pavement with another girl, a stranger, we both noticed the big black car just about to drive off. Sat in there was the Queen Mother! As soon as she saw we'd spotted her she waved and smiled at us, just the two of us!

About the same time a neighbour of ours was working as a camerman. One of his jobs included a special about Princess Anne. He was full of praise for her, she started work earlier than the crew, went out of her way to make sure they got what they wanted and was still working as they knocked off for the day.

Many years later my mother was strolling down a country lane with a friend. A horse came towards then and they stepped to one side to let it pass. It was Princess Anne and she gave them a smile and wished them a good morning.

A few years back Mum spotted Miss Zara Phillips at a spa. She says she seemed a really nice person, smiling and taking time to pass the time of day as she wandered around.

The point is, if they were more available, meeting them, seeing them just wouldn't be special. Because they're apart, live a life so different from us, belong to a family known to all of us but not part of our daily lives it's thrilling to have sight of them, to have the chance to say with pleasure and surprise 'she was really nice, she was just like everyone else!'.

This weekend our family's going to celebrate our Queen's Diamond Jubilee. Unashamedly British, proud of our Queen and thankful for someone we can respect on the throne.

No, I've not forgotten the fourth person. Last but not least was the Queen, Mum & Dad were thrilled to receive an anniversary card on their Diamond Wedding anniversary last year.

The Queen and the Queen Mother's dedication to their roles is legendary, Princess Anne carries out her duties quietly, doing more than people are aware, the younger members of the family are growing into their roles, taking their lead from the Queen and becoming fine role models. So, no matter how tenuously, we feel lucky to have had 'connections' to four generations of our royal family. A family headed by a lady who has commanded our respect for so many years.

Long Live the Queen!

Let the EU wind down

In January I published a post called 'Differences' that included my views on why the EU couldn't work at this time. Yestewrday I read a newspaper article that brought that post to mind.

The article was slanted towards breaking up the EU and quoted a...

'Nobel Prize-winning economist, Milton Friedman...in 1997: "Europe exemplifies a situation unfavourable to a common currency. It is composed of separate nations, speaking different languages, with different customs, and having citizens feeling far greater loyalty and attachment to their own country than to a common market or to the idea of Europe". As he hardly needed to point out to his American readers, currency in the US took place after, and not before, political union, the right way round.'

Interesting..so close to my own ideas! At some stage in our lives I expect most of us make discoveries that we think are unique but in fact are common knowledge. I can remember as a young child making the discovery that if I filled the bath too full it overflowed when I got in - I had "displaced" the water. I was a little put out to learn that not only had some long-ago Greek already made the discovery but he'd taken it a step further with some mysteriously clever calculation or other. These days I'm happy to accept that if others are thinking along the same lines then maybe my ideas hold some water after all.

The EU and the single currency are in a woeful state at the moment. However we get out of it it's going to be messy. So, if there's a chance we're right about it being the wrong time for the EU to develop perhaps it would be a good idea for our illustrious leaders to rein in their ambition and work towards a loosening of ties in a considered and careful manner until we're in a situation we can all live with.

It's going to hurt one way or another, let's do it quiety and amicably or at least ensure we end up with a good solid basis on which to build a better arrangement - slowly!

The ties that bind us

The lovely, serene and beautiful aunt I mentioned as dying in a previous post has died. There was no blood link, no family link but she was still my aunt. Because neither of our families had much money when I was a child, my parents sent me and my brother to stay with my aunt and uncle for a couple of weeks holiday during the summer and they sent their daughter to stay with my parents. It was great! We lived in the London suburbs, it was green enough but my aunt and uncle had a small-holding on the coast. Auntie took us cockling down in the cove and afterwards I can remember standing at the kitchen sink helping her wash them before boiling and pickling them. Delicious! I picked up a small shell from the beach and gave it to her. She kept that shell for the rest of her life, in her purse, took it with her abroad on holidays, everywhere! It's still in her purse and her daughter is going to keep it, in her own purse from now on. A couple of years ago she laughingly reminded us of the chickens she kept. There were two enclosures and my bother and I were each given responsibility for one of the enclosures. It involved feeding the chickens and collecting the eggs. We were so excited about this we virtually followed the chickens round with our hands out waiting for them to lay an egg. It wasn't all fun, I can also remember crouching on the corner of their stairs crying my eyes out with home-sickness. Auntie just came and sat with her arms round me before taking me back to bed with the promise to ring my parents the next morning. Of course, everything was great and exciting again the next morning. Dad and uncle have been friends since they were youngsters and the families have remained close down the years. Holidays, family celebrations, even now we live hundreds of miles apart we stayed in touch. Mum rang auntie regularly during her final illness, Dad's ringing uncle regularly now she's gone. So there's no blood link but so what? Shared history, shared experiences, memories of a kind, smiling lady who brought pleasure and happiness to all who knew her. Those are good, strong links that will never break and why I claim her as my aunt. I love you auntie.

Connections

Isn't it strange the way things happen?

Our family was supposed to be in Devon for a wedding this weekend. My father wasn't well enough for the journey so my brother stayed behind to look after him. My mother and I tried to get there but she had a fall before we left. Turns out, she'd had a small bleed on the brain, which had caused the fall, but we didn't know it at the time.

The bleed would have happened anyway but if she hadn't been so determined to get to the wedding she would probably have taken her normal dose of Warfarin and gone to bed, which could have led to further bleeding and then brain damage. Instead, she insisted she was ok so we set off.

We hit delays on the motorway, so we turned off and dropped down through Bath intending to pick up the A303. Because the traffic in Bath held us up we stopped at services before Frome for a snack and drink. This was when she took ill and realised she couldn't go on, and because we were where we were, we were within 15-20 minutes drive from Bath Hospital where most of her heart medical records are. Because we stopped at the hospital to have her checked over they spotted the bleed and she is now in the best place having the best care at the earliest possible time.

No matter what happens now the bride and groom have unknowingly given her the best possible chance of a good recovery. Their marriage is truly blessed.

Sometimes delays and obstacles happen for the best.

The good and the bad

Sometimes this world seems filled with the ignorant and the arrogant. Bullies who try to make the world their way either through manipulation or terrorism. People who are only out for themselves. Sometimes it seems as though these are the only people in this world. Sometimes it pays to remember that they aren't the only ones and that they aren't even a majority.

There are people in this world who grace us with their generosity of heart, impress us with their courage or just make us smile. Big gestures, small kindnesses.

There's the man who turned back to open and hold the door this morning when my hands were full; the greasy haired, skinny, leather-jacketed man I might have crossed the road to avoid if I'd come across him on a dark night but who smiled and spoke gently as I ducked under his arm.

The person who picked up a lost glove and put it on a nearby windowsill for the owner to come back and find.

The mand who looked after my grandfather as he was suffering a heart-attack, decades ago, and cared for him until the ambulance arrived.

The ladies who helped my grandmother the other year when she had a nasty fall in the street.

My cousin who was told she had a year to live; who turned down all treatment and spent the rest of her time l-i-v-i-n-g! Miss you girl!

The lady in my grandmother's sheltered accomodation who cooks for herself every day...and cooks enough to share around whoever most needs a meal that day. Whose grandchildren adore her and go with her to help weeding, planting or anything else someone may need done.

The stranger who smiles in the street.

The truck driver in the Canadian Rockies who stopped to help when I'd broken down on a hillside, in the middle of a forest, in the middle of no-where. Who said he'd report to the motorhome hire company when he got back to base and then make sure one of the other truckers heading back this way would let me know to reassure me it was done. Sure enough, an hour later, a truck slowed down on it's way past, the horn sounded and the driver frantically waved a thumbs-up as he went past. He checked up on me later through the CB radio with the tow-truck driver to make sure I'd been rescued ok.

My lovely, serene and beautiful aunt who has only a few months to live has also turned down painful and debilitating treatment in order to spend the time she has left enjoying the company of her husband, family and friends. No regrets she says, she's had a wonderful life and a wonderful marriage.

The couple who took a lonely traveller under their wing for a day, never having met her before.

The friend who listens.

Old people, young people, people near and people far away. People in my life now and people I used to know. There are far more kind, generous and friendly people, or just plain ok people than there are of the other kind. If that's so in my little world, why should it be otherwise elsewhere?

Look around you folks, can you see more good than bad? I hope so.

Benefit capping

We have families in this country with five or ten or more children but no wage earners, in massive houses in expensive areas living off benefits. The Government wants to crack down on this sort of thing by limiting benefits to £26,000 per annum. The church (Church of England) is opposing the move until such time as the Government agrees to leave child benefit out of the equation on the basis the benefit is for the children not the parents and they shouldn’t suffer.

This was the topic of conversation in the paper shop this morning. The local paper shop is a centre for deep philosophical discussion…and gossip…in many small towns around the country! Folk go in to buy their morning paper, spot the headlines and let off a head of steam before wandering out again. Sometimes, if the headlines hit a sore enough spot, the discussions spread over quite a few days.

The consensus of these bread-earners was that benefits should be limited even lower than £26,000, down to the minimum wage in fact. The thought was - why should they be working and keeping their family on far less than £26,000 and at the same time paying for others to have a better lifestyle and not work towards a penny of it? They most certainly didn’t have a burning urge to fund someone else’s outsize family!

I agree with them wholeheartedly. The point that children should not suffer for their parents is fair but how much of the money that goes in child support actually goes to the children? Are parents who are so irresponsible and selfish as to have that many children in the first place, the sort of people who can be trusted with the money needed to bring those children up? I know of what I speak, sadly I’ve seen situations with my own eyes where children are neglected while the parents smoke, drink, take drugs and completely fail to instil discipline or prepare them for a working life. The majority of these children grow to do the same themselves. The cycle needs to be broken.

Yes, I know not everyone claiming benefits is avoiding work, and no, I don’t want to prevent anyone who really needs help from getting it. But – the welfare system is intended as short-term help for people who find themselves in need through no fault of their own; it’s not meant to be a lifestyle choice, using children as money-cows.

Here’s a thought…why doesn’t the Government issue notice that with effect from 2013, child benefit will be limited to two children for any one mother and there will be no obligation on society to provide larger accommodation as well as capping benefits at £26,000? Anyone who has more than two children after that has only themselves to blame. Child benefit lasts up to age 16 so in 17 years time it will be down to a reasonable level and perhaps we’ll be on the way to a more responsible society?

Where does the church fit into this? Well, perhaps they could ease the burden by selling some of their huge assets and giving more practical help in supporting and re-educating the families so we can introduce the two-child limit now. Get out there and lead by example instead of sticking their noses into politics. It’s not universal but mostly the only time we hear from the church is for church-spire fundraisers and gathering clothing to send abroad. If they’re actually doing more then they’re being incredibly quiet about it.